The Root Cause of My Procrastination
Finally confronting my enemy.
— 4 min read
Table of Contents
The Root Cause of My Procrastination
I've come to realize that one of my biggest and oldest enemies, ever since I had to face the reality of being an adult, is myself. More specifically, it's the part of me that tries to avoid and ignore what needs to be done.
Well, my friend, I have a couple of words for you.
You are sabotaging all the work we've done. Even worse, you're destroying our future. I could be at the moon at this point if you weren't holding me back.
How much time, money, and happiness have I sacrificed letting you take control of the wheels, only for you to steer into oncoming traffic. I take back control at the last minute, but then you give me an impassioned plea to give you one more chance. And because I like to think that I'm a kind person—kind enough to even forgive you who is me—I give myself back the wheels.
And then you crash us into a ditch.
Why? Why do you do this? Why are you like this?
There is so much at stake here. You know how difficult our life is, yet you undermine it with your silly little attempts to take control.
I ask again. Why?
but ur me and i am u.. we're supposed to protect each other right?
i... don't think i can handle the stress and emotions
so i'd rather do something else, like watch netflix back home (ㅅ´ ˘ `)
u either handle the stress, anxiety and all that now
but u won't be able to handle the stress, and ik bc u r me
i'm wrong? if i'm wrong then ur wrong bc we're the same person
ur not wrong about that, but if i believe then u can also believe right?
ok how about this, we can do it later, we can do an all nighter the day of
r u even listening to me? omg ur existence is like a contradiction
on one hand ur not confident enough to handle the emotions rn, and on the other, u think ur confident enough to complete the work in such a limited amount of time
make this make sense
At the end of the day, you exist to shield me from stress and anxiety. This I can appreciate.
However, in the process of doing so, you prevent us from growing as a person. How would we know that we'll fail or that we won't be able to handle it when you stop us from trying in the first place?
At times, you even cause us to fail.
And I know all of this is because I give you control. And you're right, sometimes I don't want to deal with the emotions and consequences.
But you want us to grow, I know you do. To be a person who is unbothered by predicaments. The only way to become that person—the only way out of this predicament is through it.
No more holding back okay? It'll be a rocky ride for sure, but you just have to trust me. I'll steer us into a future we deserve.
Procrastination is an illusion, a trick that deceives us into thinking we're not capable of overcoming challenges.